Robbie Williams says he has ‘disease in his head that wants to kill him’ as he reveals mental health battle
The superstar Brit singer, 44, claimed he’s come close to death 'so many times' and compared his roller-coaster life to George Michael, who died on Christmas Day 2016
ROBBIE Williams has revealed the true extent of his mental health problems — saying he’s battling a “disease in my head” which wants to “kill him”.
The superstar Brit singer, 44, claimed he’s come close to death “so many times” and compared his roller-coaster life to George Michael, who died on Christmas Day 2016.
Currently in Australia on his The Heavy Entertainment Show tour, Robbie said he fears for his life if he is ever left alone.
He said: “Fortunately and unfortunately, left to my own devices, I’m inclined to sabotage everything.
“I’ve got a disease that wants to kill me and it’s in my head, so I have to guard against that.
“Sometimes it overwhelms me and sometimes it’s a tool I need to get on stage. Sometimes I live in bliss and it’s wonderful.
“But most of the time I’m human — having a human experience, trying to deal with the trials and tribulations of what goes on between my ears.”
Robbie opened up on mortality when asked about the impact on him of former Wham! singer George’s death.
The pair, who the ex-Take That star described as “acquaintances who were fond and bitchy about each other”, trod similar career paths — each leaving a hit band to forge hugely successful solo ventures and become icons in their field.
But their achievements came as they battled their own much-publicised demons which threatened to curtail their success.
Robbie first realised he had a problem at 19. But after getting sober in his early twenties, he relapsed several times and entered rehab in 2007 on his 33rd birthday, claiming he was “24 hours from death”.
He also had problems with anxiety, weight and stage fright.
Asked if George’s death made him reassess his life, he said: “The things I’ve put myself through, I’ve been close to . . . It’s like, ‘By the grace of God go I’. It’s been so close so many times.
“It’s been a very similar roller-coaster, yes. And I miss George Michael, I wish he was here.
“Was it 2016 when everybody popped off? It was just a dreadful year, all of everybody’s heroes disappear, you’re realising you’re not immortal and never more so than being 43 having two kids.
“It was just a dreadful thing to happen and I miss him.”
Just over two months ago, Robbie told The Sun he spent seven days in intensive care last September after doctors found abnormalities on his brain that “looked like blood”. He was forced to cancel the Russian dates of his Heavy Entertainment Show tour after falling ill backstage at a stadium in Zurich.
He was then flown to London for emergency tests before being told to recover back home in LA for two months. Robbie said: “It gave me a real scare, because I’ve been in some dark places before — but back then I was 23, 27 or 32.
“Once you’ve been on the planet for 43 years, you realise that — even if you’ve got everything that I have — you’re not invincible. So from now on I’m going to look after myself a lot more carefully.”
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The star, who has sold 75million albums and won a record 18 Brit Awards, wed US actress Ayda Field in 2010. She is mum of his daughter Theodora “Teddy” Rose, five, and three-year-old son Charlton.
And Robbie credits her with saving his life by keeping him clean — straight after their first date when the singer was so high on drugs he was “clucking like a chicken”.
He said: “She nursed me, gave me exactly what I needed at that moment, a bit of loving. She saw me at my worst the first night. And, quite interestingly, liked it.”